


A Little Secret

by SatanUiAgi



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, And the whole agere thing, Everything is set as normal as I can assume their lives are aside from added ships, Little, M/M, Non-Sexual, Shy Kang Yeosang, They're still idols, little!yeosang
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:14:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22150861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SatanUiAgi/pseuds/SatanUiAgi
Summary: Yeosang has a... Little Secret.or where Yeosang is a little in hiding. Until, of course, his hyung finds him napping one day.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Kang Yeosang/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 38
Kudos: 446





	1. Yeosang's Not One for Surpises

Yeosang had a little secret.

Well, he had a big secret, that he was a little.

A big little secret that he’d like to keep that way. 

A secret.

That he was a little.

None of the members knew. And he’d like to keep it that way. It’s not that he thinks they’d treat him any different, he’s sure they’d support him no matter what. Or, that’s what he’d like to think any way. 

He’s more or less worried about their reactions. Which he supposes has a little to do with how they’d treat him.

Scratch everything, he’s terrified. Yeosang was terrified of how they’d react to such a big character change in himself such as being a _little_. 

What if they end up hating him? What if they think he’s gross or annoying? 

What if they kick him out of the group?

That thought alone was enough to keep Yeosang’s lips sealed. The other members were his family, and he’d be damned if he let something like this take them away from him.

Which is exactly why he only regressed when he was 100% positive he’d have the dorms to himself for at least an hour.

In an hour he could watch an episode of one of his cartoons, play with stuffies and maybe even color a little, if he was still big enough to not get crayon everywhere but the paper. However, being alone in the dorms for that long didn’t happen often, which had its down sides.

Regression was a form of stress relief for Yeosang. A way he could forget his idol life for a while and just be in his element. When he couldn’t regress for a long time, he got irritable, and the other members would notice that.

He’d managed to incorporate some aspects of being a little in his normal day to day life to accommodate this stretch of time between being able to regress completely. He didn’t let the makeup artists carve out his cheekbones and jawline like they wanted to so his face could look soft and slightly feminine, even if he couldn’t wear the pastel pinks and purples like he wanted he still dressed in slightly oversized clothes that were soft to touch. He’d even managed to get cuddles from the other members from time to time to fill his little heart with joy, while he’d never initiated it, the others were very big on skinship and he would indulge himself whenever another member chose him as their cuddle victim. All of these things kept his aggression at bay and allowed him to be little without being little outright.

But sometimes, he’d get a day like today. 

Everyone in the dorm had a different schedule of their own that day, everyone was going out and doing their own thing. And Yeosang could stay home.

Alone.

For at least the next few hours. 

He was positively elated that he’d be able to regress for the first time in _ages_. Their recent comeback had been a stressful one and his normal masking tactics just weren’t cutting it. He needed this, to be able to fully let go and be _little_. 

He couldn’t wait for everyone to be out the door and on their way, even though he loved every one of the other members, they were unknowingly eating into his little time. 

By the time everyone had left he began counting how much time he would have until they came back. It was about 8 am now, and the earliest one to back would be HongJoong at 3. He had 7 hours worth of heaven. 

First things first was to change into something a little more comfortable.

Yeosang walked over to his hyungs room to scavenge through his sweaters. Seonghwa had a wide array of soft sweaters in cute colors. Yeosang didn’t own too many cute sweaters of his own in fear of his members finding out his little secret. 

He settled on a soft pastel pink sweater. His hyung was a little taller than him so the sweater reached just past his hands. Afterwards he changed into some soft grey sweat pant and considered himself cozy enough to comfortably slip into his headspace. 

He finished of his preparation by grabbing his pacifier from the box secured under his bed. The paci really helped him to secure that feeling of being safe. He used to suck his thumb which was far easier to hide than a pastel pink pacifier but some of the members had began to wonder why one of his thumbs always looked a bit water logged. 

He switched to the paci just a few months ago but scheduling and the proximity of his members prevented him from using it too much.

Yeosang relocated himself to the living room and turned on the tv with Netflix. As soon as he had put on his favorite children’s cartoon he could feel all the stress leave his body. 

He felt warm and safe and carefree like this. Almost like a weight had been literally lifted off his shoulders. 

He rarely spoke much around the members but in his current 2-3 year old mindset he allowed himself to excitedly respond to the shows questions. 

“Hi there!” The tv supplied, “What’s your name?”

Yeosang giggled in delight. “Sangie! Name Sangie!” 

“Wow that’s a great name! Nice to meet you! Do you want to come with me on an adventure?”

Yeosang nodded aggressively at the tv, supplying an excited “Yes!” in reply. 

Their conversation went like that for the duration of watching a few episodes, the tv asking Yeosang various questions that children’s shows tend to ask the audience, and Yeosang responding excitedly in between taking out his paci and putting it back in his mouth after responding. 

By now it was lunch time, and Yeosang might have forgotten to eat breakfast in his excitement to be little. His tummy growled letting him know it required sustenance in the next few hours. Not one to argue with his body, Yeosang turned off the tv and waddled himself over to the kitchen, sitting himself on the floor in front of the fridge.

He didn’t have a clue where to go from here. He wasn’t even that good at making food himself when he was big, so as a little, he was absolutely lost. This probably would've been a great time for him to have a caregiver, but he refused to let his secret go beyond his knowledge, so it was time for him to take matters into his own hands.

He struggled to get the fridge open from his place on the floor, but once he did he sat himself back and took a long look at the contents inside. 

They didn’t really have much aside from a few cartons of milk and a verity of sauces. There was a container of leftovers that probably belonged to Mingi, and some fruit at the bottom of the fridge. He didn’t exactly trust himself to use the microwave by himself, so he settled on some grapes at the bottom of the fridge that were definitely Jongho’s.

He halfhazardly washed the grapes, remembering his mom telling to him to always wash his fruit before eating it. After, he sat himself on the floor again, took out his paci and began eating his snack. He could have a real meal later when the others were back home.

He hummed in delight at the cold but refreshing treat, talking nonsense to himself periodically between bites. 

“Good for Sangie! Good, good!” He giggled as he put another grape into his mouth. 

After eating a handful, he decided he’d had enough and placed the bag back in the fridge. Yeosang grabbed his paci and made a b-line to his hyungs room.

Because he was scared of getting caught, Yeosang didn’t own any plushies of his own, despite them being his favorite thing as a little (and big tbh). He would relish in the moments when he could cuddle a plush during fansigns. Even though he didn’t have any, the other members had plenty of them, his favorite being Seonghwa’s Toothless plushie.

He climbed into his hyungs bed and got cozy with the plush Toothless.

“Toothless!” He giggled as his voice was muffled by the paci, and pet the stuffed animals head before hugging it tight.

“Toothless watch with me??” He pulled out his phone and loaded up Netflix to watch his show with the stuffie. He moved the dragons head to look like it was nodding in response before giggling and falling back on the bed, cuddling the stuffie close.

Yeosang hummed along to the opening theme to the show, yawning a few times. He hadn’t realized he had managed to tire himself out. 

Yeosang cuddled the plush closer to himself, curling into a little ball under the sheets. He watched the show sleepily, succumbing to his tiredness half way through.

-

Seonghwa was glad to be able to finish his vocal lessons early. He wasn’t particularly feeling it this morning when he remembered that this was a voluntary practice that he’d signed up for last week, and that he could’ve stayed at home doing nothing all day.

All he wanted right now was to catch up on the sleep he’d lost during their latest comeback, and he was grateful that he’d be able to do that.

Walking through the front door, he could hear the faint sound of something playing somewhere in the dorm. Seonghwa knew at least one member stayed home today, but he couldn’t remember which one. 

“Hello??” Seonghwa called but no one answered. Maybe they were sleeping? Yunho had a habit of letting his YouTube auto play continue past his sleep.

Seonghwa continued his trek inside the dorm, trying to locate the member. 

“Hello??” No answer.

He came across Yunho and Mingi’s room to check for the member in question but the room was void of anyone. Where could they be?? After checking both Wooyoung and Yeosang’s room and San and Jongho’s room and coming up with nothing he figured it must have been HongJoong in their room. 

It wouldn’t surprise him, the leader spends so much of his time taking care of the others and working on new songs for them all the time, their leader doesn’t get much in the way of sleep. Seonghwa wasn’t even sure HongJoong knew what sleep was at this point. 

He went over to their shared room to check on their leader and found something… very not HongJoong.

It was Yeosang.

Yeosang… with- is that a pacifier?? Is that a children’s show playing?? 

Seonghwa had so many questions right off the bat. First of all, why was Yeosang in his bed? Why is there a pacifier in his mouth? Why was he watching a show for children?? Is that Seonghwa’s sweater?

He shook his head and made his way on over to the sleeping boy. He looked at peace, probably the most peaceful Seonghwa had ever seen Yeosang. He kinda felt bad for having to wake him up, but clearly Yeosang was hiding.. something, and Seonghwa needed answers. 

-

Yeosang didn’t even realize he had fallen asleep until there was a soft hand on his arm waking him up. 

He was kind of delirious at first, he had probably managed to go into a deep sleep. Nothing was registering in his brain. The only thing he could realize was happening was his sleepy limbs were slowly waking up, starting down by his toes and working their way awake from the bottom to the top.

When his brain finally started to come back alive (still in little space), he could sleepy open his eyes to the careful caress on his shoulder. Blinking his eyes awake, the figure was a little blurry at first. When his vision finally cleared he could see it was just his hyung Seonghwa.

_His hyung._

_Seonghwa._

It took a moment for his little sleepy brain to register what exactly was happening right now. He shot upright, narrowly missing hitting his hyungs head with his own. Yeosang took a good look at Seonghwa, who was looking back at him with an expression his little brain couldn’t quite decipher. He decided it was hate.

He started crying.

Yeosang has been caught. All this time he had been so careful to hide this side of himself so the other members wouldn’t see him any differently, so they wouldn’t judge him or _hate him_. And he had been caught.

Yeosang could feel arms circle around him and his hyungs voice trying to calm him down. All Yeosang could do was cling to him and cry harder.

He didn’t want his hyung to hate him. Seonghwa was the hyung he looked up to the most. Next to Wooyoung, Seonghwa was his closest friend in the group. And maybe Yeosang had just the tiniest crush on him as well, ~~but that’s a secret he’ll never tell~~.

The point was, this was the absolute worse thing that could’ve happened to Yeosang.

The hushing from his hyung continued. A gentle hand rubbed at his back. Eventually Yeosang could calm down a little bit, but not much. 

“Yeosang, what’s going on..” his hyung asked, which only spurred Yeosang to start crying harder again. 

“Hyungie hate Sangie! Sangie sorry!! Sangie sorry!” He couldn’t see it but Seonghwa was bewildered. Yeosang let the tears keep falling, pushing himself deeper into his headspace.

“Yeosang… I don’t know what’s going on, I don’t hate you…” Yeosang pulled back to look at Seonghwa’s face.

“No hate Sangie??” He sniffled, looking for any and every sign his hyung was being honest. 

“No, hyung could never hate you.. now please tell me what’s going on, why are you talking like that??” 

Yeosang turned his head away. He didn’t particularly want to tell his hyung anything. He wanted them to forget that any of this was happening at all, to go back to their day to day lives and never address it ever again. But clearly his hyung wouldn’t have it that way.

“S-sangie, tell me what’s wrong..” Yeosang could tell that the nickname sounded foreign on his hyungs lips, but it made his little heart spark with joy. It convinced his little self that maybe he could tell his hyung.. maybe. He sat there a little while more, staring anywhere but his hyungs face. Seonghwa tried again.

“Sangie…” 

That time he seemed more comfortable, more relaxed, and generally just concerned for him. Yeosang looked down, not wanting to look his hyung as he spoke.

“Sangie… Sangie little..” Yeosang braced for impact.

“What’s that mean Sangie… tell hyung so he can understand.” Seonghwa was working with him, trying to understand him, and Yeosang could start crying again from how much he appreciated that. 

“Sangie.. this many old.. not big now..” he held up three fingers for his hyung to show his age. He could see Seonghwa nodding, trying to understand what he was saying.

“So you’re 3.. will you ever be big again??” Yeosang thought that was a silly question. Of course he’d have to be big again, he can’t just be three for the rest of his life, no matter how much he wanted to stay this little. He put on a sad smile.

“Yea Sangie be big again… before others get home..” 

Seonghwa checked his phone for the time. It was nearly three now. HongJoong would be home any minute. Yeosang knew he needed to be big now. He didn’t really want to talk to his hyung while big. 

Shaking his head, Yeosang got up from his place on Seonghwa bed, grabbed his stuff and quickly locked himself in his room, ignoring his hyungs calling and knocking on his door. It hurt his chest to just leave things there but it felt like it was the only option to avoid spurring the conversation even more. Right now he just wanted to be alone. 

He quickly sealed himself in his bed and tried to push out any invading thoughts of his hyung. He didn’t know what was going to happen now. He’d just have to wait and see.


	2. Awkward Silence

After The Night™ Seonghwa wouldn’t exactly say he and Yeosang were on speaking terms.

Not by Seonghwa’s choosing of course. He had attempted to spark conversation with the other for a week now, even trying to return the youngers pacifier that he’d left, but Yeosang wasn’t having any of it. No matter how much Seonghwa wanted and tried to speak to the younger, he couldn’t because Yeosang would run away every time. 

Since then Seonghwa had been doing research of his own on what exactly it meant to be a.. a little. He was still getting used to the idea of such a concept but slowly and surely, with every passing blog he visited, he was growing more and more fond of the idea of having a little Yeosang running around the dorm. 

When he sees Yeosang stressed and bothered, he wished he could take him back to that state he had been in that night, sleeping peacefully with his plush. Yeosang hadn’t looked that calm any other time that Seonghwa had seen the member, and it hurt him to know that. He wanted the best for all of his members and if being little was what made Yeosang happy and stress free, he wanted that for him.

In doing his research he had found out a few things. Being a little wasn’t explicitly a sexualized act, there was also an innocent side to being little (which he assumed Yeosang was the latter of the two). He learned it was a form of stress relief for a lot of people. He learned that people who do regress can have various ages and don’t all just become babies. He learned that people who regress can have a favorite thing that keeps them calm, like a stuffed animal, a blanket, etc. He learned about caregivers and their general roles in a littles life.

He learned so much but none of it was Yeosang specific. He wanted to know _Yeosang_. What ages he was accustomed to regressing to, what his favorite toy was, what his favorite snack was. He wanted to know what things made the little feel safe, and what terrified him. He had thought he’d gotten to know most everything about Yeosang through all their time as trainees and members together. But he didn’t.

This was a whole new side of his fellow member that was completely foreign to him and Seonghwa wanted to learn every aspect of it. He wanted to know so _much more_ about Yeosang. But above all else, he wanted to know if the little wanted a caregiver..

Seonghwa was no stranger to acting the older brother, he was the oldest member of their group after all. He’d grown accustomed to taking care of the 7 other boys in their dorm. He’s pretty sure Atiny even consider him the mother figure of the group. But taking care of a little Yeosang would be different.

He be the acting parent. He’d get to see and be exposed to Yeosang at his most vulnerable. He’d get to coddle him and be there for him in a way the members normally wouldn’t let him. Maybe it’s because he really does have a mother’s sense. But it’s still something that settled in his heart as yearning. 

However, all of these feelings and research would come to not if he couldn’t get Yeosang to talk to him when _big_.

Luckily, the other members haven’t caught on to their dissonance yet. But he assumes it’s only a matter of time before one of them _does_. When they do, Seonghwa had no idea how he would explain why he and Yeosang were not talking. They weren’t fighting exactly, and it’s not like Seonghwa wasn’t trying to get through to the other member. 

Yeosang just wasn’t being… cooperative.

Seonghwa could understand why Yeosang would avoid him. This had clearly been a big secret that Yeosang was sensitive about anyone else knowing. It’s different from the norm, he guesses Yeosang probably thought something along the lines of abandonment if he were to come out about this part of himself. Seonghwa wasn’t even sure Wooyoung knew about this side of Yeosang, and Wooyoung was Yeosang’s _best friend_. If Yeosang wouldn’t even share this with the person he trusted most, how could Seonghwa expect the younger to trust _him_.

Seonghwa wasn’t really sure. But he was determined to earn the littles trust. He knew it would definitely take time, and that he might hit some rough patches, some tougher than the one he was currently in. But it’d be all worth it to be able to have the younger member be honest and comfortable with him. 

That’d have to wait for now though. They had a prettying trying schedule this week. It seemed to be never ending, the amount of training, shoots, filming, interviews, etc that they had to do. Seonghwa hadn’t even had the time to _think_ about talking to Yeosang, let alone returning the pacifier the younger had left in his great escape. 

The item had been fairly easy to hide, mostly because Seonghwa is the only one who cleans his and Hongjoong‘s room. He’d placed it in the back of a dresser drawer he figured HongJoong wouldn’t look through. It’d been about a week now and their leader hadn’t mentioned anything of the item, so he’s pretty sure it’s safe and sound. 

For now anyway.

Today their schedule included a whopping 8 hours of dance rehearsals. He was already tired just thinking about it. After they had individual practices going on. Some of them would be in vocal training, others in private rooms practicing their parts alone, and he’s pretty sure at least one member was recording lines today. 

Their schedule had been like this for the better part of this week, and he could tell that all the members were having trouble keeping up with it. He was worried about Yeosang, he was getting more aggressive and short tempered than usual. Seonghwa was pretty sure it was because all these schedules were continuously happening and he couldn’t be little. 

Seonghwa needed to talk to him and soon.

He saw his chance when Yeosang went into a private practice room after their extensive dance rehearsal. He was a little worried about how much of a fuss Yeosang would give him when he went in there. The younger wasn’t exactly happy by the end of the 8 hours. He’d just hope this wouldn’t make Yeosang ignore him even further.

He punched in the key code Yeosang had used to keep the door secured so no one else could bother him, it was fairly easy to remember. Atiny’s birthday. Yeosang used that password for just about anything he could. He was so close to finally getting to talk to Yeosang before Jongho’s voice cut him in his tracks.

“Hyung! HongJoong hyung says today’s your recording day.” Seonghwa rolled his eyes.

He knew someone was going to record for the album today, but why of all people did it have to be him?? He had important business to attend to.

Reluctantly, he went to the recording studio where HongJoong was. Maybe he could finagle his way out of this?? Maybe he hadn’t quite missed his chance??

“Hey Joong..” he started off carefully, earning him a grunt from their leader who was looking through some sheet music on the production desk infront of him. “Could I-“

“No. Booth. Now.”

Well.. that didn’t go quite as planned either. 

“But you-“

“I didn’t need to hear you finish your sentence to know you were gonna ask if someone else could go today. My answer is no. Booth. _Now_.”

He sighed. There was no getting past Leader Hong when he was like this. He’d just have to try again next time.

~ 

There wasn’t a next time. Every time there was a small chance he could finally spark the conversation with the little in hiding, something always, _always_ came up.

“Hwa you need to go to the studio for revisions.”

“Hyung, can you help with this for a second.”

“Everyone get some sleep, we got a big day tomorrow too.”

None of it was Yeosang trying to run away anymore. In fact he had managed to get Yeosang to start responding to small hellos and goodbyes. It was small but progress was progress. 

No, this time it was the universe being an absolute pain in his ass. What god had he pissed off to deserve this?? All he wanted to do was to show Yeosang he was trying for him, to show the younger he could understand. But, he couldn’t very well do that when the universe was placing wall after wall in front of him. Every time he thinks he’s broken through, another wall appears.

But today, he was determined. They had a performance for a music show today. Him and Yeosang were the first to get their makeup done. 

He saw his in when Yeosang excused himself to the bathroom. There was 20 minutes before they had to be on stage, he could do this. 

It’s go time.

~

In all honesty, Yeosang felt like shit. This comeback had been absolute hell and all he wanted to do was be little. 

This dissonance between him and his hyung didn’t help with his frustration either. It was getting to be too much. He was starting to get restless, not sleeping well at night either. He’d even yelled at San for the stupidest thing this morning. He felt bad, he’d probably apologize later, if he remembered. 

All he had to do was make it through until tomorrow. Tomorrow they would have the entire morning until 1 pm to themselves at the dorm, no schedules. Just existing. He supposed that would have to do for the time being. 

But for tonight they had a special stage. He’d already gotten his makeup done, and decided to go and prepare himself in the bathroom. 

He always tried to give himself a little pep talk before shows, whether or not it actually worked to help him be calm before a performance was beyond him, but it didn’t hurt to try and pump himself up before each stage. 

Yeosang entered the bathroom, walking until he stopped in his tracks at someone else walking into the same bathroom. The door to the bathroom clicked and he figured it had been locked. Who could-

“Yeosang,” oh, that’s who. “I- I know you probably don’t want to talk to me right now but I really need to get this out.” 

Yeosang wasn’t exactly fond of the idea of talking to his hyung, especially after avoiding him all week, but he knew they needed to. He stood in silence. He supposed his hyung took that as a sign he could continue.

“I’ve been reading a lot.. and I want you to know that I’m trying… I’m really trying to understand so that I can be there for you…” 

His hyung had been doing research for him?? But why? This was wrong and Yeosang was wrong.. his hyung should be disgusted, shouldn’t he?

“I’ve learned a lot, like about different regression ages and all sorts of other things.. if it’s something that makes you happy or relaxed I want you to be able to regress freely.. I want you to know you can regress around me, I want to be there for you..”

Yeosang continued to stand there. This was an unexpected development. One he wasn’t sure what to make of. He was going to respond but before he could, there was a knock on the door.

“Yeosang! Stage in 3 minutes!” It was Yunho.

He quickly turned on his heel and headed for the door, eyes downcast at the floor.

“We should go..” 

Yeosang moved to the door behind Seonghwa before unlocking it and walking away, leaving his hyung at the bathroom door, arm outstretched for when he had tried to reach for Yeosang.. He could hear his hyung call out for him behind him but there was too much going on right now, he just had to perform today and he could take a break. He’d be fine… 

He hopes..

~

The next morning Seonghwa laid in bed, moping. HongJoong had already left for the day, as if anything could keep him away from producing music. He’s pretty sure most of the others were still sleeping in their bedrooms. 

Yeosang had ran away from him again. He had hoped things would be different. That maybe there was a small chance Yeosang might trust him even a little bit now. 

Maybe Yeosang hated that he had tried to delve deeper into his private life. Seonghwa was defeated.

The sound of the door to his and HongJoong’s shared room opening cut Seonghwa out of his thoughts and self loathing to find a crying Yeosang.

“Hyungie.. S-Sangie little.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter baeby~ Barely beta read, please let me know if there are any errors I missed in the comments belooowwwww
> 
> I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! I'm sorry this chapter doesn't really have much in the way of little!Yeosang and was more for driving the plot forward ;-; I promise a little Sangie next chapter.
> 
> Also sorry for the cliff hanger :p


	3. Sangie is on Thin Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeosang wakes up little...

The first thing that came to Yeosang’s mind that morning was that his sheets were very warm and comforting. It was like a hug or cuddles.

The second thing that Yeosang noticed when he woke up that morning was that he was little. Very little.

Immediately he was filled with panic and dread. What would he do if the other members saw him in this state? It looked like Wooyoung was still dead asleep. He was immensely grateful that his best friend was a deep sleeper. A freight train could run through their room and Wooyoung would be absolutely oblivious off in dream land. It really helped in moments like this where Yeosang’s tears betrayed him and fell freely without his permission.

He didn’t know what to do. He closed his eyes, hoping with all his heart that he could will himself to be big for today. But when he opened his eyes again the world was blurry from his tears and all he wanted was to cuddle his Hyungie’s plush Toothless.

Seonghwa.

He didn’t know what he was doing. He willed himself to get up, albeit a little bit wobbly from his age right now, and waddled himself all the way to his Hyungie’s room. 

Before he knew it he was opening the door to Seonghwa’s room and all he could do was hope that Joongie Hyung wasn’t around to see him like this.

He was still crying by the time he had made it there and stood in the threshold of the room, but all he wanted was the plushie. 

“Hyungie.. S-Sangie little.” he managed out. He was impressed that he could get anything out at all through the tears and the feeling of being so undeniably little. 

Immediately he could see the worry in his Hyungie’s eyes. The fact that he had worried his Hyungie only made him cry harder as he allowed himself to be pulled into the elders arms. Seonghwa was so warm, the little in him was keeling over in happiness, the fright in his heart alleviating a little bit. 

He let the elder lead him to his bed before leading Yeosang to lay down on top of him. Yeosang immediately snuggled into Seonghwa. This was nice. His Hyungie gently rubbing small circles into his back, shushing him without much force behind it. He could hear his Hyungie whispering something into his ear. His mind was far too gone to fully register whatever was said. 

The plushie Yeosang had originally had in mind was long forgotten at this point. He’d never been able to cuddle someone while little. His crying had died down to soft sniffles. When had he put his thumb in his mouth? He wasn’t sure.

“Sangie… are you with me??” Yeosang looked up to see his Hyungie looking at him with questioning eyes. He slowly nodded in response. Seonghwa took that as his queue to continue. “How old is Sangie?”

Yeosang had to think really hard for a second. How old was he?? He held up two fingers with his free hand. “ ‘dis many…” his words were muffled by th thumb in his mouth, but he couldn’t really care right now. 

“That many?? You’re so little b-baby..” Yeosang keened at the nickname. He liked that. 

“Sangie baby??”

“Yea.. Sangie baby.” Seonghwa blushed, Yeosang didn’t pay it any mind.

“Sangie Hwa’s baby?” Little Yeosang sure hoped so. He wasn’t sure why. He supposed he just wanted to know his Hyungie was there for him. 

“I-if Sangie wants to be my baby.. that’s okay with me… only if Sangie really wants.” 

Yeosang smiled around the thumb in his mouth, nodding his head up at his Hyungie. The tear tracks on his face starting to dry.

“O-okay…” He could feel Seonghwa resume his previous action of rubbing circles into the littles back, Yeosang sighing contentedly.

“Has baby had breakfast?” The oldest inquired. No. Yeosang hadn’t had breakfast. His first quest was to find the long forgotten plush. Now that he thought about it, he was kinda hungry. He nodded his head no to the question.

“Come on then baby, let’s go out to the kitchen to get something then.” His Hyungie had began to sit up but Yeosang didn’t want to leave the room. 

If he went out there, he’d have to be big and based on previous attempts, Yeosang just couldn’t bring himself to do that right now. Surely someone else would find him, and maybe they wouldn’t be as kind as Seonghwa had been to him. 

Yeosang began to freak out again. 

Tears bubbled up in the littles eyes, and he adamantly shook his head no. 

“N-no up… no leave..” Yeosang looked desperately into his Hyungie’s eyes trying to get his point across to the older. There was no leaving the safety of this room in Yeosang’s mind and he was desperate to keep it that way.

“But baby if we don’t leave the room, you can’t eat..” Tears rolled down the littles cheeks, if he didn’t leave the room, he’d probably starve to death. This had got to be the worst day of the littles life.

At the panic in Yeosang’s eyes, Seonghwa tried to reason with the little again. 

“We’ll be super quick, okay baby? Hwa promises he won't let anything happen to you. But you gotta eat something…” Seonghwa really hoped this would work on the little. Yeosang already had enough problems with forgetting to eat while big, he wanted to make sure the younger was well fed in his care.

Yeosang hesitated. His Hyungie did promise.. maybe just this once wouldn’t be so bad. 

Reluctantly, Yeosang nodded his head, prompting Seonghwa to take the lead and stand them up from the bed before taking off to the kitchen. Seonghwa sat Yeosang down in one of their kitchen tables before making quick work on something to eat for the little.

Seonghwa wasn’t so sure what to fix for the little exactly. He’s almost positive that Yeosang wouldn’t quite appreciate a bowl of Raisin Bran while in headspace. They didn’t tend to keep sugary cereals in their cabinets either. 

Yeosang, however, was not worried about Raisin Bran and other variety cereals, he was worried about who could walk around the corner into the kitchen at any given second. His eyes were trained on the corner that rounded to the hallway with their bedrooms, he wasn't concerned in the slightest with Seonghwa’s bustling around the kitchen. In his little mind, he wasn't aware of the thumb he had unknowingly brought to his mouth, sucking the digit in fear.

And then it happened. 

It felt like his whole life was happening in slow motion. He vaguely heard the door to some room open before someone made their way to rounding the corner, right as Seonghwa stepped in front of him to draw the thumb out of his mouth. He wanted to cry. He really hoped that whoever it was that rounded the corner was oblivious to anything and everything going on right now.

Silently, Seonghwa placed a plate of toast with strawberry jam in front of Yeosang, and another plate for himself.

“Hey Hyungs.” It was San.

“Hi Sannie.” Seonghwa called in return. Yeosang just sent the younger boy a shy nod at his arrival. He didn’t know what to do right now, his mind was in tangled knots and he just wanted to hug his Hyungie. Would Sannie be mad at him? Would Sannie hate him if he found out? He didn’t want to know. He wished he lived in a world where he could openly regress and his members would all equally understand but he’s not so sure he’d be that lucky. He stuck the toast into his mouth to avoid having to say anything further.

“Whaaaa, Hyung! You made breakfast? Did you make some for me?” San eyed their food quizzically. It wasn't often that someone felt the need to put in the effort required to make toast.

“No.” Seonghwa said before taking his own bite of toast. San huffed.

“Why’d you make Sangie toast then, that's not very fair.” Yeosang felt his face heat up at the nickname, he wanted to react to it somehow but he refrained the best he could. He liked his nickname, especially when little, it made him feel cute.

“Because.. Sangie doesn't feel good this morning. I'm taking care of him.” San squaked.

“Ya! I wasn’t well last week and you didn’t take care of me!” Seonghwa snickered, both of them watching San get to work on making his own toast.

“You didn’t ask.” 

“YoU dIDn’T AsK.” San mumbled under his breath. Which, doesn’t mean much considering San was one of the loudest members in the dorm, so it was more like, normal human speech under his breath.

Seonghwa rolled his eyes before Yeosang felt him pat his thigh reassuringly, the younger letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. They continued their breakfast in silence, San took his toast back to his room, much to Seonghwa’s apparent displeasure, before they went back to Seonghwa’s room to spend the rest of their day, Seonghwa making sure to text the group chat to leave him alone in his room as Yeosang was feeling homesick.

They had done several things. They watched children's shows on Yeosang’s phone, they talked periodically, mostly about little space things like Yeosang wishing there was a coloring book around for him to color in and things of that nature that they couldn’t really do because they didn’t have the supplies. They cuddled and they played pretend with the stuffies that were available in the room.

It was the best experience in little space that Yeosang had ever had. He had someone to take care of him and to help him feel safe. He really loved spending time with his Hyungie, and so it came to no surprise to himself when he felt himself drift off to sleep in Seonghwa’s arms. 

~

It was around seven in the evening when HongJoong came back into the dorm and silently crept back into his and Seonghwa’s shared room. 

He was pretty proud of what he managed to get done in the studio today. He’d managed to iron some things out with Eden regarding new lyrics and vocal placement within the group. He was also quite proud of the lyrics he’d scratched down over the course of the day, not all for the same song, but more of a collection or story of songs to come. 

He was ready to relax before he ate any kind of dinner tonight. 

He wasn’t, however, expecting to find what he did when he entered his room. He found a sleeping Seonghwa underneath a sleeping Yeosang, the latter with his thumb stuffed in his mouth, Seonghwa’s stuffed Toothless anchored in his arm from the joint of his elbow. That was the main thing that caught his attention. Everything else might have almost passed as normal had there not been a weird air around those two just days before hand.

Carefully and quietly, HongJoong made his way across the room to Seonghwa’s bed. He almost felt bad having to wake the eldest member up, but it was clear to him now that this was something that they needed to talk about.

Gently, he shook the elders shoulder. At first their oldest member didn’t wake up, but HongJoong pressed again, gently shaking Seonghwa’s shoulder when the olders eyes finally fluttered open, before snapping open in apparent fear.

“Hwa… I think we need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoyed this late chapter~ please let me know what you thought, your comments fuel me.


	4. Cats Out of the Bag

“Hwa… I think we need to talk.”

Now, they were both situated in their desk chairs. Yeosang was sleeping peacefully over on Seonghwa’s bed, completely oblivious to his Hyung letting him down, like he’d promised not to. 

He should have been more careful. He should have set an alarm to make sure they wouldn’t have to deal with something like this, or maybe Seonghwa should have stayed awake.

Either way, they were here now. HongJoong was looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. An answer that Seonghwa wasn’t particularly fond of being forced to share. 

He felt like such a disappointment. 

“Well?” HongJoong pressed. Seonghwa looked down and began playing with his fingers. 

They’d been sitting there for the better part of ten minutes and Seonghwa hasn’t said anything. He didn’t want to say anything. He really was hoping that after all his silence HongJoong would have given up by now.

But he didn’t. Seonghwa should have known better by now. If it's for the better of the team, HongJoong would never quit.

“Look if you think I’m gonna… I don’t know, judge you for this… kink-”

“It’s not a kink!” Seonghwa reeled back. That was probably too loud. Luckily, Yeosang didn’t stir. Not yet at least. “It’s not a kink…”

“Then what is this Hwa? What is going on in my dorms so that I can finally understand.”

Seonghwa looked down to play with his own fingers. 

“It’s…” It really wasn’t his place to tell HongJoong. This was Yeosang’s secret, that he was entrusted with. It wasn’t his place to tell. But Seonghwa was involved. Is there a way to explain his side of the story without completely exposing Yeosang’s? Probably not.

“I’m… taking care of him…”

“Taking care of him how? He’s not sick or injured in any way that I can see? Are you? What? Getting him off?”

“No! Absolutely not!” He would never, with any of his members. That was something that only intimate couples did, not… not friends. Certainly not with Yeosang’s regression. That just didn’t seem ethical.

A whimper from off to the side drew Seonghwa out of his thoughts. He looked over to find a surprised and quickly panicking Yeosang, tears forming in the younger's eyes, his lip quivering, staring terrified at the presence of HongJoong across from Seonghwa. Yeosang let out a hiccup before tears started pouring from his eyes, his little hands rubbing at his eyes, the thumb of his left hand still wet from being in his mouth when sleeping.

HongJoong looked thoroughly surprised at Yeosang’s sudden outburst, but Seonghwa didn’t have time to deal with his shit right now. He immediately got up and brought Yeosang into his lap, the younger’s head resting in the crook of his neck, Seonghwa rubbing small circles into his back. He could feel Yeosang’s tears soaking through his shirt for the second time that day, the sobs ripping through his heart. 

“Shh… it's okay Sangie… Hyungie is here…” 

“Seriously, what is going on? One of you needs to tell me, so that whatever is happening now won't happen again.” He could feel Yeosang sink further into his chest, the action pulling at his heart strings. 

“Sangie… are you little right now?” Seonghwa whispered next to the boy's ear, receiving a small nod in return. “Okay… do you mind if I explain… this? To HongJoong?” This he didn’t say quite as silently, looking nervously at HongJoong, who had a strange mixture of concern and sternness written on his face.

It took a few seconds but he received another tiny nod as the younger shook in his arms with a new wave of tears leaving his eyes. Seonghwa gave it a few seconds before he decided to speak, HongJoong looking at them expectantly.

“Yeosang… S-sangie is a… a little.” 

There’s complete silence, for a whole of one minute.

“Okay… what’s that mean, tell me.” So far their leader doesn’t look judgemental or anything, just… confused, which Seonghwa feels is better than most things the leader could be feeling right now.

“It's...” how was Seonghwa supposed to explain this? He’ll have to try his best, given he was still trying to understand it himself. “He, mentally, regresses. It’s… age regression. He, mentally, goes into a mindset of someone much younger, to… destress, find a sense of clarity in the middle of our busy schedules, to… feel safe.”

Things go quiet again.

Yeosang’s crying had subsided to soft sniffles, his thumb back in his mouth. Seonghwa should probably get his Sangie a paci to keep in his room for moments like this, although, Seonghwa’s not so sure if Yeosang would want to go that far in front of HongJoong right now.

“Okay…” is the only thing that leaves HongJoong’s mouth before there’s complete silence again, Yeosang tensing in Seonghwa’s arms. 

Was it a mistake telling him the truth? What else could he have said? Nothing?

“How old is he now?” HongJoong questions. Seonghwa doesn’t quite know either right now.

“Sangie, h-how old are you?” Seonghwa wishes he would stop stumbling over his words.

“This many…” Yeosang whispers, holding up 3 fingers. 

“How old is he?” HongJoong asks again. He probably didn’t hear the littles soft voice from over there.

“Sangie is three right now…”

“So… he has the mentality of a three year old right now?” Seonghwa only nods. 

Silence fills the room once more. Yeosang has stopped crying, but he’s still hiding in Seonghwa’s chest, refusing to look out into the room. His fingers playing with the hem of Seonghwa’s shirt. HongJoong is still sitting in his desk chair, but not looking at either of them, seemingly off in his own world, deep in thought. 

Yeosang speaks up. 

“J-joongie hate me?” He whispers around the thumb in his mouth.

“What was that baby? I couldn’t hear you…” Seonghwa leans in closer to the littles head, trying to hear what he’s trying to say.

“Joongie hate me?” The little asks again, thumb removed from his mouth, this time a little louder and clearer. Seonghwa glances at Joong, who still seems to be processing things. He understands. It’s a little to take in, but he doesn’t… Seonghwa doesn’t think that HongJoong would ever hate Yeosang.

“No… Joong doesn’t hate you…” he says, just loud enough to let HongJoong hear what the little was inquiring about. 

Seonghwa saw HongJoong furrow his eyebrows at that, rising from his chair and slowly pacing over to where Seonghwa held Yeosang on the bed. The leader placed a gentle hand on the littles shoulder, Seonghwa could feel Yeosang tense at the action.

“Hyung… Hyung could never hate you Yeosang- S-sangie…” HongJoong spoke gently, rubbing the littles shoulder with his thumb, and Seonghwa was amazed at how the little seemed to deflate at the action. The leader looked at the elder. “Can I… can I h-hold him?”

Seonghwa wasn’t really sure why he was asking for his permission per se. Really he should be asking Yeosang for his permission, whether or not he wants a different Hyung right now, to care for him while he’s in this state. He supposes he’ll have to put in the work though, act as supporting communicator for the two. 

“Sangie, do you mind if HongJoongie holds you for a little?” He asks the little on his lap. Yeosang seems to tense for a little before turning and holding his arms out for his other Hyung, his eyes still wet from the tears he’d been shedding for the better half of an hour.

HongJoong sat on the bed next to Seonghwa, allowing the little to just slip into his lap rather than trying to pick the little up (despite the little being just the age of a small toddler, he certainly doesn’t weigh like one).

The little slid into his leader’s lap and immediately wrapped his arms around the others neck, hiding his head in the crook of it. HongJoong wrapped his arms around the little, placing a small kiss to the crown of his head.

“Hyung loves you, do you know that?” HongJoong says, running his fingers through Yeosang’s blonde hair. The little nods. “Do you promise to tell Hyung all about little things when you’re big so Hyung can learn??” 

Seonghwa can see the hesitation in the little at the prospect of being big soon. When he was little it was safe, it was easy. Being big meant talking in full sentences and dealing with big grown up emotions that he didn’t have to deal with when he regressed. Regardless, the little eventual nodded his head in response.

“Hwa there??” The little asked nervously, drawing back from HongJoong’s shoulder to wipe at his damp eyes, which were skirting nervously between his two hyungs. 

“Yes, Hyungie will be there.” Seonghwa states softly, rubbing small circles into Yeosang’s back. 

They fell into silence again, but this one wasn’t nearly as thick as the ones before hand. HongJoong was softly rocking Yeosang in his arms, the littles head resting on the leaders chest, little hands curled into the fabric of HongJoong’s shirt. 

It was terribly domestic and Seonghwa loved every second of it. 

“I’m gonna go make dinner.” The eldest got up, walking to the door, stopping in his tracks at their leaders response.

“I’m just… gonna hold him a little bit longer.. I wanna hold him.” Seonghwa smiled.

“Of course.”

He went on his way to make dinner, closing the door to keep prying eyes from disrupting their privacy. He was glad they were able to have this moment together, god forbid Wooyoung or Mingi from messing it up and making Yeosang upset for the nth time that day. 

When he comes to the kitchen San has already started fixing dinner for the eight of them. Seonghwa takes his space beside him, slicing some carrots for what looks to be the beginnings of the topping for bibimbap.

“Hey Hyung, is Sangie doing alright??” San asks. The younger hadn’t really checked on the two after their little toast gathering earlier in the morning. 

“He’s doing fine. HongJoong is watching him now so I can take over dinner if you’d like.” 

“No, it’s fine Hyung. I don’t mind making dinner every once in a while.” San says.

Seonghwa snorts.

“You literally complained about having to make toast just this morning.” That earns him a slap on the arm from the younger.

“That means nothing. You know I’m not a morning person. I become my best me in the night.” San retorts, checking on the rice. 

“Yea, whatever you say.”

They continue to bicker (albeit, lovingly) throughout the rest of the dinner preparations, only cutting their conversation so that Seonghwa could round up the others for their meal. 

When he gets to his room, HongJoong and Yeosang are asleep. The sight is so precious, he hates that he has to wake them up, but Yeosang and HongJoong both need a proper meal after their long days. 

Yeosang is curled into HongJoong’s chest, thumb in mouth. This must be one of the littles favorite positions to cuddle in, his go to. HongJoong has his arms wrapped around the little, mouth open as the leader snores softly (HongJoong adamantly believes he doesn’t snore and will take that to his grave, but they all know he does). 

Seonghwa makes his way across the room, waking Yeosang first with a small rub to his shoulder. 

“Come on baby, time to be big, you gotta eat dinner.” He manages to sit the little up so he can process his surroundings before lightly shaking the leaders shoulder to wake him up as well. “Come on you two, dinner. We’re having bibimbap.”

He leads them to the kitchen, Yeosang grippin the bottom of the back of Seonghwa’s sweater despite being big now, he must still feel a little disoriented after is micro nap. HongJoong is not far behind, yawning and rubbing his eyes. 

Seonghwa’s heart is filled to the brim with affection, and for right now, he feels like they can make this work for them. 

They’ll make this work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me forever to write, writers block is the worst. 
> 
> Enjoy! Not beta read, so I'm sorry if there's any mistakes.


	5. Call me Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sangie comes out to one more member, but who?

This had been going steadily after that night. Yeosang spent more time in their room now that he could regress around them safely, he mostly did it at night after their schedules had wrapped up and he could go to sleep and wake up big. 

Seonghwa noticed that the nights where Yeosang went to bed little, the younger would wake up more refreshed and in a better mood. He was glad that Yeosang could freely do this now and feel better than he had when he couldn't regress as often.

They’d also managed to iron out some things, like how the littles favorite snack is strawberries (it's actually cake but strawberries are the closest thing to junk sweets that Seonghwa will allow him to have). Yeosang also likes to color so now Seonghwa keeps a few coloring books and some crayons under his bed for when the little wants it. They also figured out that the little absolutely loves his paci, along with the fact that it’s really difficult for him to fall asleep without it.

That particular learning curve was quite difficult for them to get through. There was an issue with the fact that Yeosang still needs to sleep in his own room. They've managed to work out a system where the little falls most of the way to sleep in Seonghwa and HongJoong’s room with the paci, and then they remove it and walk the half asleep little back to his own room. The process is pretty tedious and it means that either Seonghwa or HongJoong has to stay up later than they want to be able to walk the little back to his room but it's the best system they have without actually outing Yeosang to the others. 

Speaking of the others, Seonghwa isn't sure if they know something was up or not. They had been a little off put by the sudden change of routine from the three of them, but so far things had been going smoothly. 

Well, kinda.

The member that concerns Seonghwa the most is San. San… he’s always been pretty perceptive to begin with, it’s one of the reasons he’s able to learn dances and pick up lyrics so quickly. But, it also means that he is extremely sensitive to the things happening around him. The younger member has been asking Yeosang more questions about his well being and how he’s feeling, and of course it doesn’t help that San is naturally cute and calls everyone cute nicknames, even Yeosang. 

When Yeosang is little he’s been more and more adamant about wanting to play with San, and Seonghwa has had to put Yeosang to bed early more than a few times with him crying, saying “Wan Sannie, wan Sannie.” 

He supposes it would be a pretty endearing sight, given the younger always has his thumb in his mouth when he tries to talk, but his tears just make his heart hurt. 

Seonghwa knows he has to do something about it. But he has no idea what.

After a week or two of this happening on and off (some nights were better than others), Seonghwa and HongJoong came to a decision that they needed to have Yeosang choose.

Keep his Little Secret, or come out to San. Preferably they would have him come out to all of them about the secret, but Seonghwa wasn’t so sure Yeosang would be willing to go so far.

They had their little family meeting after dinner one night where Yeosang wasn’t little. The caregivers knew that this conversation would probably be more comfortable for Yeosang if he was little, but he figured this was better spoken about when Yeosang was in the right headspace for a real conversation. He needed Yeosang to be conscious about his decision and its consequences. 

Yeosang looked understandably nervous. He looked like he wanted to regress and not deal with this at all, but it had been weeks of the little crying and reaching out for something he can't have. Weeks of needless tears and pain that Seonghwa didn’t want to continue any longer.

“We think you should come out to San.” Seonghwa started bluntly. Quick and easy, to the point. Ripping the bandaid off seemed like it was going to be a better tactic than drawing this out longer than it needed to be. 

There was a drawn out silence after the words left his mouth. Yeosang looking anywhere but at the two elder members in front of him. Seonghwa supposed the white paint flaking off of the walls was more interesting. 

“Yeosang, you’ve been hurting for weeks now over this. We hate to see you cry any more.” HongJoong presses gently.

More silence.

It looks like this wouldn’t quite be as quick and easy as he thought it might be. 

Several long minutes went by before they got anything out of the younger.

“What.. what if San hates me.” Seonghwa could feel his heart crack a little at the notion of anyone ever hating Yeosang. Hating him for something as innocent as regression, and finding something that brings peace to his everyday chaos. Seonghwa would personally smack every person who threatened to hate his baby.

“Yeosang, honey, we don’t think San would ever hate you. San isn’t like that baby.” Seonghwa says. Seonghwa sees the hesitation in the other boy, the way he doesn’t quite believe the words coming out of Seonghwa’s mouth right now. 

“When has San ever given you reason to believe he would hate you?” HongJoong asks, looking at the little with ‘leader eyes’. The look almost never fails to get the others to see things his way. Yeosang meets his gaze for a brief second before looking down bashfully. 

“No… Sannie.. San hasn’t given me any reasons…” he’s playing with his fingers in his lap, nerves no doubt on end. Seonghwa wants nothing more than to hold him and help him feel okay. 

“So…” Seonghwa starts. “What do you say. Are we coming out to Sannie or no.” 

The silence that takes over the room is one that Seonghwa should probably be used to by now, but he’s not. It’s thick and nerve wracking, kind of a perfect representation of this whole conversation they’ve been having tonight. 

Seonghwa’s attention is brought back to the boy in front of them when the little takes in a shuddering breath.

“Okay…” it’s almost a whisper but Seonghwa and HongJoong hear it.

“Okay what, sweetheart?” HongJoong asks. There’s another moment of silence before Yeosang answers.

“Okay… we can… we can tell Sannie.” He says weakly. 

Seonghwa is so proud, but he doesn’t want to celebrate prematurely. He needs to make sure this is what Yeosang wants, despite him and HongJoong pushing for it. He wants the little to be comfortable and sure in his decision. They can still wait if needed. They would just be further risking San finding out on his own.

“Are you sure, Sangie?” He asks, looking into the littles eyes for any kind of protest.

“Yes… I’m sure..” he says resolutely, though it’s not without his normal shyness. 

Then that was settled. They would help Yeosang in any way they could to get this out and clear some air. 

“Okay, how do you wanna do it, big or little?” HongJoong asks from his side. 

“Can.. can I do it little?” Yeosang asks, uncertain. 

“Of course baby, you can do it little.” Seonghwa finally gets up and wraps his arms around his baby boy, like he’s wanted to this entire time. He feels the little relax in his embrace and nod into his chest with a little ‘Okay’ falling from his lips.

“Okay.”

-

It’s about a week later and a lot of motivation from Seonghwa and HongJoong when Yeosang finally gets the courage to regress for the purposes of telling San the truth.

He had come up to Seonghwa with nervous determination in his eyes, and then it went from there.

The little currently sat in the floor of Seonghwa and HongJoong’s bedroom floor, dressed in a cozy baby pink sweatshirt and matching cotton shorts. He was giggling, coloring on a play mat that Seonghwa had gotten him a few weeks ago. It was nice because Yeosang could color it in marker and all Seonghwa had to do was wipe it with a wet wipe and the little could reuse it basically forever. 

HongJoong was on San duty, bringing him in about ten minutes later. 

Yeosang startled at the new presence, looking between San and Seonghwa shyly, a little blush dusting his cheeks. It looked as though HongJoong had warned San not to say things off the top of his head, a wise move if Seonghwa had to say. 

“Sannie…” the little started slowly, “Sanna wan’ color?” He asked, looking up at San with big eyes, Seonghwa would be flabbergasted if anyone ever said no to those eyes.

San glanced around, with a dumbfounded look on his face, eyes flitting between HongJoong and Seonghwa, no doubt silently begging for answers. Seonghwa fixes him with an expectant look, nodding his head toward the little.

“Uh… yea… San-Sannie can color?” San hesitantly squats down on the other side of the play mat. 

“Sannie color this one.” Yeosang says brightly, handing San a blue marker to color the mat with. Seonghwa could feel the confusion radiating off San as he said a small ‘yeah, okay’ before grabbing the marker. 

“So…” San starts, looking between the two eldest members with the unasked question.

“Sangie is a little.” HongJoong, so graciously, gets it out easily. Seonghwa is sure he himself would have stuttered through it. 

“And that means…?” San trails off, absentmindedly drawing circles into the mat, Yeosang is glancing nervously between the three of them, gauging their reactions, specifically San’s.

“Sangie regresses…. into this younger mindset. It… it helps him feel safe and relieves stress.” Seonghwa really hopes his explanation is enough. He doesn’t really know how else to explain it, other than pulling up a forum or something.

San nods before turning his attention back to the little. 

“How old are you- uh… Sangie?” He asks.

“‘Dis many.” Yeosang says, holding up two fingers in response. Seonghwa holds his breath as a silence takes over the room.

Then San grins.

“That many, huh baby?” He says with a laugh and Seonghwa has never felt more relief in his 22 years of life. 

San and Yeosang just seem to click together, talking animatedly between each other. San asking the little what they should draw and Yeosang giving San different colored markers that he wants the older to use. 

It warms Seonghwa’s heart, and by the fond gaze in HongJoong’s eyes, he’s sure their leader feels the exact same way. 

By the end of the night when San has retired to his own room, Yeosang is snuggled up to Seonghwa’s chest, pacifier in mouth. The little tuckered out so quickly getting to play with San for most of the evening, and he could see how much more relaxed than he had these past few weeks. 

“I wish he felt safe enough to come out to the rest of them…” HongJoong says from his bunk. Seonghwa agreed, he wishes their baby felt safe but he knew it would take more time than that. 

“It’ll just take some more time Joong. We’ll get there.” Seonghwa sighs. HongJoong just hums in response. 

They’ll get there. 

Eventually.

As much as Seonghwa would love to lay here in his soft warm bed all night, cuddling little Sangie to his heart's content, he really needs to put the little in his own room. 

“Come on baby, let’s go lay in your room…” he gently coaxes the little up and out of his bunk. It’s an adorable sight, Yeosang walking sleepily with his head heavy, eyes almost shut. 

He helps shuffle Yeosang to his own room. He opens the door to find Wooyoung is still wide away. 

“Hi Wooyoung.” Seonghwa says absentmindedly. They’ve done this enough times to play it off as Yeosang just being absolutely drained from the day. 

“Hey Hyu-“ Wooyoung starts with a smile before his smile drops to utter confusion.

“Is that a pacifier?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, it's.... been a little. How is everyone?
> 
> I got super stuck on this chapter, I'm sorry it took forever ;-;
> 
> Leave me a comment and Kudos, they fuel me <3


	6. Coming Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeosang is more or less forced to come out as a little, but his hyungies do most of the talking.

It’s glaringly obvious that Yeosang is no longer on the brink of sleep anymore and is now much more awake. The littles eyes are wide open and his bottom lip is trembling as the situation dawns on him. 

Seonghwa feels his heart drop to his stomach, and get lodged in his throat at the same time. He feels like he might have a heart attack, stroke, and brain aneurysm all at the same time. 

He’d forgotten the pacifier. Completely forgotten to take it out of the younger's mouth before bringing him back to his room. How stupid could he be? He’d been so distracted by how well today went that he completely forgot to do one very important thing and now he has no idea what Yeosang might do now. 

Wooyoung is just sitting there, upright and alert, not saying anything. God Seonghwa wishes he’d say something. Anything that might ease the situation by even a little, but Wooyoung just keeps sitting there and staring at them with this stupid questioning look in his eyes that probably looks very judgemental to Yeosang.

He half expects Yeosang to run. To just turn around and leave the apartment. What he doesn’t expect, however, is Yeosang dropping to the floor with a loud broken sob. Seonghwa’s heart breaks.

“Appa!” Yeosang all but screams, his face quickly getting wet with tears falling all too quickly. “Appa! Appa!” He gasps, the paci hanging loosely from his lips, eyes shut tight as he sobs.

Seonghwa is really at a loss for words or actions right now. Yeosang has never done this before. Seonghwa isn’t even really sure he knows who Appa is. But his better half of his brain kicks into action and he kneels down to the floor to pull Yeosang into his arms. He shushes the little as he rubs what he hopes is soothing circles into the younger's back. 

Yeosang keeps whimpering and calling for Appa, and as awful as it sounds, Seonghwa really wishes he’d stop. Not because it’s embarrassing, but he’s waking up the other members who are now poking their heads out of their rooms in concern. Seonghwa isn’t sure Yeosang would really appreciate the attention he’s accidentally bringing himself right now.

When he looks up, Wooyoung kinda looks like he’s been slapped across the face, and to be honest, that’s not far from how Seonghwa feels like right now. When he looks around him he can see the others tentatively stepping out of their rooms to see what’s going on. 

Seonghwa looks back down to continue comforting his baby, whispering sweet nothings into the blonde's ear to try to calm him down in some way or another. San and HongJoong are right by his side as soon as they realized what’s going on, both of them offering soothing words to the little in Seonghwa’s lap.

“What the actual fuck is going on right now?” Wooyoung finally breaks the very fragile silence that was around them all. When Seonghwa looks up at him again he can see the clear confusion written all over his face, along with worry and what Seonghwa might describe as feelings of hurt, though he can’t fathom why Wooyoung would feel hurt right now. 

The others around them sound off with similar concerns. Of course they would. Yeosang was one of their emotionally indifferent members. He didn’t show big emotions like the ones he’s feeling now. He didn’t cry in front of them and he certainly didn’t fall to the floor when things got too hard. This was new for all of them. But he could answer their questions later.

“Not right now, I have to try and calm him down.” Seonghwa got up off the floor with a crying Yeosang clinging to him desperately. 

“Appa, appa!!” He continued to cry. Seonghwa still had no idea who Appa was.

“Shh, where is appa?” He asked as he brought Yeosang to the living room. He sat on the couch with the little in his lap, rubbing soothing circles to try and help the blonde regulate his breathing. Yeosang only clung tighter to him, continuing his chant.

San and HongJoong weren’t far behind. HongJoong has went to the kitchen to make Yeosang a bottle of some warm milk, while San sat next to Hwa, also rubbing circles into the littles back.

“Hyung, I think you’re appa..” San said, noticing how Yeosang was only looking for Seonghwa right now as he clung to his caregiver. Seonghwa has been with Yeosang the longest out of all of them, so it only made sense.

“Baby, am I Appa?? Is Hwa Hyungie Appa??” He asked, trying to look at Yeosang’s face that was smashed into Seonghwa’s nightshirt. 

The little holds on tighter, if that was even possible. Seonghwa takes this as a yes, starting to shush him, letting him know his Appa was there for him, letting him know he’s loved. If Yeosang wanted him to be his Appa, he’d be it for him. 

Not too long after does HongJoong come in with the warmed milk. Seonghwa can smell the vanilla and honey their leader put in it to make it sweet for Yeosang. A special treat they only let the little have every once in a while. Seonghwa thinks it was a good call on HongJoong’s part. 

“Baby, want some milk? Joongie Hyung made it just for you..” Seonghwa tries to lure Yeosang to drink it. The little lifts his head off his hyung’s chest, just enough to look at the bottle before opening his mouth and allowing his hyung to feed him. 

The tears move down his face slower now, with the distraction of the sweet milk. Seonghwa can see from the corner of his eyes that the others are gathered by the living room entrance watching this all go down. San and HongJoong aren't paying them any mind, but Seonghwa feels now is as good a time as any to try and explain it to the rest of them. 

He turns his attention to them and takes a deep breath getting ready to explain.

“Yeosangie here, is a little.” He’s immediately met with looks of confusion.

“Well, what the hell is that supposed to mean?” Wooyoung gripes impatiently, walking slightly closer for conversation's sake.

“First of all cut the cussing. Second, it means when Yeosang is stressed or having a lot of anxiety or is just feeling bad, he, mentally, regresses to a younger age to relieve that stress or pain.” Seonghwa says with a huff. 

The others seem to be taking a little bit of time to process those words and determine what exactly that means in regards to their member, who had never expressed these feelings to them. Seonghwa is grateful they’re thinking this through instead of hopping right in with the opinions. 

He looks back down to Yeosang. His crying seems to have tuckered him out, as he rests, cheek smooshed against Seonghwa’s chest. He gently draws the bottle that was in the littles mouth out of his parted lips, careful to not rouse the sleeping boy. San and HongJoong have both stopped rubbing soothing circles into Yeosang’s skin for the same reasons, now just sitting there to show their support.

“Why wouldn’t he tell me…” Wooyoung mutters. When Seonghwa looks up he’s shocked to find Wooyoung is fighting back tears. “I’m his best friend… why wouldn’t he tell me something so important to him.” Tears start falling freely down Wooyoung’s face and Seonghwa wishes he could get up and comfort him, but his arms are preoccupied.

Luckily, San gets up and strides over to Wooyoung, wrapping him in a tight hug. 

“When I found out…” Seonghwa starts hesitantly. “When I found him regressing one day, he thought I’d hate him for it. He didn’t want me to know, because he thought I’d hate him for it, and you’re right. You’re his best friend. Woo… he was probably scared he’d lose his best friend. That’s why he didn’t tell you. Any of you. He doesn’t want to lose us.” 

The room goes quiet, save for the few deep breaths Seonghwa takes to even his own breathing, slightly emotional after his mini speech. San is comforting Wooyoung the best his can while everyone else seems to keep processing things. 

“We’d still love him.” Mingi speaks up for the first time tonight.

“Yeah. If it helps him, then there’s no reason for him not to do it. No judgement here.” Yunho adds on. 

“I’d love him no matter what.” Wooyoung sobs into San’s chest, the older whispering a barely audible ‘we know, we all would’ into his hair.

“Now that everyone knows…” Seomghwa starts, getting all their attention once more. “I want everyone to show him all your support. Even in little ways. He really likes being called cute nicknames like Yeosangie… you could get him a stuffie- uh, stuffed animal. The age he regresses to is usually pretty young, from about 1-3 years old…” Seonghwa trails off. 

“Got it Hyung.” Yunho says with a reassuring smile. 

“Yeah, you don’t have to worry about anything, Hyung. We’ll all try our best.” Jongho says. 

Seonghwa could almost cry from the amount of love he feels for his baby right now. Of course he knew that all the members loved and respected each other, they’d all been very close since the early months of meeting each other and moving into the dorms, but this feels new. This might be a new chapter for all of them, an opportunity for new, deeper love and respect for one another, a chance for them to be family rather than friends. 

“Thank you all for accepting him.” Seonghwa says, voice a little watery from holding back his own tears.

“Bold of you to assume I’d ever turn him away.” Wooyoung says huffily. Everyone shares a little laugh, Yunho, Mingi, and Jongho going over to hug Wooyoung in a vice grip.

HongJoong has never left his side with Yeosang, not really saying much the entire time, but when Seonghwa looks over, their leader is looking at them all like they hung the stars in the sky, so much pride and adoration swimming in his eyes.

“Ah, I’m so proud to be your leader.” HongJoong says before getting up and joining the others in their group hug. Seonghwa would join them but he doesn’t have it in him to put Yeosang down, so he settles for smiling softly at them while running his fingers through Yeosang’s hair as he sleeps.

As much as he’d love this moment to last, everyone breaks away from the hug eventually. One by one, starting with San and HongJoong, they come up and leave a little kiss on Yeosang’s sleeping head, 

“Night night, baby.” San says softly. “Goodnight hyung.”

“Goodnight you two.” HongJoong yawns. Both of them make their way back to their rooms before the others come up, albeit nervously, to say their goodnights.

“Goodnight Sangie, night Hyung.” Yunho and Mingi say, giving the little small pats on his head.

“Night you two.” Jongho waves, never one for physical affection, he walks off behind Yunho and Mingi to go to his room.

At last, Wooyoung makes his way over to the two of them. 

“Wanna help me put him to bed?” Seonghwa asks. Wooyoung is silent for a few seconds before nodding.

“Yeah.. I wanna help.” He says quietly, something completely out of character for Wooyoung.

Seonghwa nods softly before slowly getting up, a hand bracing Yeosang’s back and one below his bottom so Seonghwa can carefully carry him to the littles and Wooyoung’s shared room. He walks slow and steady, trying his best not to jostle him too much and wake him up. Wooyoung follows him close behind. 

When they get to the room, Seonghwa is careful laying the sleeping baby down, mindful of his head not having support from his neck in his sleep. 

“Do you want to tuck the covers around him?” Seonghwa asks behind him where Wooyoung lingers.

“Yeah…” the younger one says carefully. Slowly, he makes his way to the side of Yeosang’s bed, lifting his best friend's blanket and laying it over him, tucking it in at the sides. Yeosang looks so peaceful like this, Wooyoung almost wants to cry again. 

As a final touch Seonghwa places Yeosang’s paci between his lips, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Before leaving the room, he turns to Wooyoung and gives him a tight hug. 

“Goodnight Wooyoung.” He says, walking to the door and pausing to turn off the lights. “Goodnight Sangie.” 

With that he leaves and closes the door behind him. Leaving Wooyoung. 

Wooyoung places a kiss on the top of Yeosang’s head, brushing his bangs back off his forehead.

“Goodnight Sangie.” Wooyoung whispers before going to his own bed and laying down to sleep.

“We love you. You should know we’ll always accept you.” He says as one final thought before going to sleep himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, i do not proofread so if there is any big mistakes, please let me know, I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> We're almost to the end! There's going to be one more chapter basically clearing the air after the confession, and then there's going to be a part two to this fic!
> 
> **The second part is going to be a request fic, but the first few chapters are going to be how the other members come out as littles, so starting now, if anyone has any requests for how a specific member/members come out, go ahead and leave it in the comments and i'll get around to looking at them!**

**Author's Note:**

> I do intend to make this a multi-chapter fic but I have no concept of time so updates might be random.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Please feel free to comment suggestions for the plot bc I am winging this as I go.


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